Diary Of An Iranian Teacher
پنج‌شنبه 13 اسفند‌ماه سال 1383
Honest letter to David

Dear David:
Do you want to know how I feel about a soulmate? correct me if you think I am wrong.Many people openly and consciously yearn for a soulmate. They may even believe one person is out there for them, That "right"person.but,that's not how I feel about a soulmate.Reality inevitably fails to match our ideals.I witness in others what builds true, lasting, and profoundly satisfying love. And, more importantly, I know it in myself. It's easy to feel like you are soulmates in the mid of a passionate and seemingly endless honeymoon.But, if you felt like soulmates at the end of a decade, something else must be involved. To be a soulmate is not a fantasy, but a realization based on a real-world track record,will be tested. I truly believe that  real world soulmates become that — by growing together in certain ways and working through challenges successfully — as contrasted with how many other couples get stuck in less fulfilling, impoverished relationships.Almost all of them were talking about the initial feeling of being "soulmates" upon first falling in love as a new couple the way I felt after my engagement but its changing now.I think love at first sight is a potential soulmate but, love that overcomes challenges is REAL_WORLD soulmate.Don't you agree?When we first fell in love, it was like  the honeymoon  so to speak , we really and truly  felt we are soulmates.now I see alot of soul breaking  challenges a head of me e.g. raising not born yet children ,taking CARE of the family and you name it.just to mention a few.Do you agree with me that  Love is Not Enough? and I also believe that having  a  "Soulmate" is Not Enough .There is the moment in all relationships when the you gotta be prepared for the storm coming the ISSUE .DIFFERENCE,This is a shock, and may lead you to disappointment or doubts.  Yet, just as before, it is blamed on the other person. Now, we think, "This is not the right person after all..." That is the soulmate myth coming alive inside of us, effecting us to think and possibly act in ways that will take our relationship down a negative path. In this sense, the common myth of soulmates is a very dangerous because it usually ends up being a relationship-breaker.When You make it the other person's job to be open ,nothing cant be done indeed.ne. When I get right down to it, I am out of touch  with my true power of loving ,so far and gloomy that I think of "buts and ifs" but in vain .I AM in a relationship already,this of course doesn't mean that I regret my engagement so far we get a long well together .what I am saing is about my hopes and fear for the future.If we want a great relationship to deepen and last, we need to realize that "happily ever after" includes feelings other than happiness, I guess.We are the ones who must realize it is our own openness that is the key to keeping a relationship great and growing — and then learn to re-open ourselves — even when there are challenges. Especially when there are challenges!In some ways, the myth of "soulmates" is about a relationshin that is blue sky forever. Always sunny, and that sunshine pours down on us, brightens us up, lifts us.but the othe side is the " thunder and cloud  and storm ". We are asked to stay present with what is — not run and hide, waiting for the rainy day to pass. We are challenged to put aside limiting beliefs and embrace the rain, realizing that even rain has a positive purpose.but "action speaks louder than words:)"Relationship is our greatest teacher. It tells us what we need to learn next in life for our personal growth. In love we are called on to do work — to become more skillful in relating, move beyond our past wounds and limits, and grow as human beings. This personal growth will include learning new tools and strategies in how we communicate, behave, and process emotions.In the most challenging case, relationship work means showing up in a new way when both partners are stuck in negativity. It means embracing the upsets and learning how to expand and elevate the situation. Couples who are becoming soulmates are willing to learn how to open themselves, even when the going gets rough. They commit to learn to bring out their best, instead of passively giving way to their habitual reactions. They refuse to simply close down into fear, withdrawal, self-defensiveness, resentment, blame, criticism, or the many other common ways we destroy our own relationships.As a Japanese proverb suggests: "The Obstacle is the Path."I hope I don't sound to be a preacher .that's NOT how I am .but I truly believe in this and I hope to materialize all this to some extant at least.some part of the problem roots in  families which did not model how to do the work. We have seldom seen it done well, and may not even know a couple that can do it at all. Taking a journey like this I think  enables you to succeed in building a partnership so unparalleled that the best way you have to describe that in words is that you are soulmates.God bless You all.


Ps.all the best luck on your exam.

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